No relationship is guaranteed. Stable homes and even Christians who promise “until death do us part,” can have everything fall apart. Faith and biblical principles can give us a stronger foundation for marriage. What if our relationship isn’t as much about you or your spouse? What if it is more about drawing closer to God?
In Sacred Marriage, Thomas didn’t write about “how to have a happier relationship.” He writes about how we can use challenges, joys, struggles or celebrations of marriage to draw closer to God. God designed marriage to make us happy and holy. Cherish your spouse and help your marriage thrive.
Realistic Marriage
Life isn’t always easy and real marriages go through trials, stress and craziness. God never designed marriage as a perfect happiness. We won’t live a conflict-free life. God designed marriage to provide partnership, spiritual intimacy and the ability to pursue God - together.
When we find our ‘soulmate’, that someone to complete us, we find fulfillment and purpose. If we expect our spouse to fulfill our needs, wants and happiness, he or she will fail every day. No person can live up to those expectations. It is not our spouse’s job to make us happy.
Everyone has a bad days, yells at their spouse or is selfish. None of us are perfect or will ever be perfect. Despite imperfections, God created the husband and wife to steer each other in His direction.
Most of the world seems to have an idolizing obsession and a focus on self rather than focus on others first. We still need self care, but don’t solely focus on yourself. Just take a break.
Marriage should be a union and focused on the spouse. It shouldn’t be focused on yourself in a me-centered world we live in. Living in such a way can be a challenge, especially when bills pile up, communication breaks down or you are just irritated with your spouse.
Remember:
- Marriage is a loyal partnership
- It should be a firm foundation for building a family.
God’s purpose for marriage extend far beyond personal happiness.
Serving Your Spouse
He spends a lot of time at the office. She spends to much money and doesn’t tell him. He goes golfing instead of spending time with family. She doesn’t keep up on the laundry.
Big issues or irritating habits, it seems impossible to resolve. Loving our spouse through the tough times isn’t easy. Getting though it all depends on what you value in a marriage. When happiness seems to disappear couples get divorced. It isn’t our spouses job to make us happy! That puts a lot of pressure on your spouse. Happiness is a decision we make every day. When a spouse becomes less attentive, we dump them. If we marry for God’s glory and model His love and commitment, then we work together on our marriage. We are called to respect everyone, including our spouse.
Tips for a healthy relationship:
- Focus on your spouse’s strengths rather than their weaknesses.
- Encourage rather than criticize.
- Pray for your spouse instead of gossiping about them.
Don’t spotlight their shortcomings. It only takes one of us to change our ways and attitudes to make a difference. You would be surprised how your spouse will notice and change their ways as well.
Grace and Mercy
When we are frustrated, angry or fed up, we need to run after our spouse and show grace and mercy. Just like our Heavenly Father, show forgiveness.
Say this prayer each morning:
Lord, how can I love my spouse today like they’ve never been loved before?
God will show up and answer your prayer. From running errands, doing laundry, or just listening and showing affection. He will show you how to love your spouse.
With a Christ-centered relationship, putting our spouse first and a commitment attitude, we can have a happy and holy marriage. Faith can make all the difference. Love with compassion.
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